I am very much confused by comments I have read lately about this movie, and I wish that whatever it is that is making folks seem to be blind to what is going on could be pushed aside for just an hour or so, just enough time to sit down and talk about this..
I have seen so many people post on board after board; heard so many news crews go on about how Christians are over reacting about this movie; read too many articles about how the stars of this said that;
"It has been watered down a little...I was raised Catholic, the Catholic Church is part of my essence,"
"I wouldn't be able to do this film if I thought it were at all anti-Catholic."
I have to admit that I used to grudgingly admire Mr. Pullman in the fact that he told it like it was. He said he purposely set out to create a series that was an dynamic opposite of ‘The Chronicles of Narnia’, one that he believed would be the counter to the concept he found despicable; trying to raise children with Christian goals. I remember hearing about his books for the first time, and the same day reading that he had made statements to any press who would hear him, such as;"Christianity is a mistake, a powerful and seductive mistake, but a mistake all the same."
I have found myself time and time again defending Christianity against this series…time and time again asked how I could defend this “crusade” (what fucking GALL), how this series is NOT an attack on Christianity, just a quasi attack on all organized religion that Christianity (specifically the Catholic church) has acted like an whiny bitch over? NOT a direct attack on Christianity?? Let me show you why that statement isn’t worth the cyber paper it was written on;
1. The series states that all angels are "Bene Elim", which is actually a Hebrew phrase for 'Sons of God'.
2. It is stated early in the series that the compass runs on dust. It goes on later to explain that Dust (notice the capital now..as in the series) is the physical remains of angels. It then goes even further, later in the series, to explain that dust is the physical evidence of the ‘original sin’. Let me make a clear point here, the concept of original sin is PURELY a Christian concept. It is NOT mentioned or even conceived in any other religion except for Islamic teachings; and only then is it mentioned in reference to Christianity and why we are wrong for believing in this idea.
3. How about the fact that Satan is mentioned in the books, which again is a Christian word for the evil antagonist of the Supreme Being or God. Now let's go even further proving that the series is anti-Christian in the very fact that it states that Satan was NOT responsible for his rebellion, but that God was responsible for his 'lies and deceits'.
Choosing not to believe in any Supreme Being, or organized religion, is everyone’s choice. All of us have been given free will, and it is a great, great gift; and curse, much like democracy. No one is responsible for anyone else's actions but themselves, good or bad. A concept we find easily breezed over in today’s society of suing and blaming them for our use of their products wrongly. Or even better, forcing the Supreme Court to have to make a ruling that companies must put warning labels on products such as "Product will be hot after heating" or my absolute favorite on a jar of peanuts that it "contains nuts".
The true question I see is whether as Christians, we should ignore, or protest against a movie based on a series that directly attacks our religion. I cannot help but think of the Islamic religious protest/denunciation of the cartoon published in the Danish newspaper last year.
I am ashamed to admit I considered it over-reaction at first when I heard about Danish newspaper issue. I remember saying to someone I knew about how I could not believe the big deal made of this cartoon; and why couldn't they just get over it. I remember his look of disgust at me. I remember being the only person at first who seemed to think the same opinions I did and being called shallow by folks because of my beliefs. I remember the news, the politicians, the leaders of that time saying that the Islamic religion was within their rights to be upset. I remember the most liberal of them being told we were wrong, and bigots because we did not agree. I remember the day that Father (Catholic priest name..which you all probably knew, but I guess I wanted to clarify) gave a sermon on why the Islamic religion was correct in what they were doing and the reasons why we should SUPPORT them. I remember my chagrin and shame...
Yet here we are now, the issue is on our lap, the message striking out against us not just an cartoon in one newspaper but a blockbuster movie slated to be shown in every theater world wide, hyped as being not a political statement/cartoon, but a CHILDRENS event. Hyped as a movie that is JUST about fun, JUST about killing God, because he is EVIL..
I am sorry, I wish I had more patience on this, more understanding, but as a Christian I only know of one person who was perfect. As much as I try to follow in His footsteps, His beliefs, I find myself falling short. I know He forgives me, but I find it hard at times to let myself accept that. I become too afraid I can push off all responsibility on that idea, and then I truly am in trouble. Knowing this all, I will not support this movie, will not sit idly by as they tell my children and my children’s friends that this movie/series is innocent of attacking the very values I am asked to forgive this movie for. The founders of our country had many phrases/battle cries they used to decry their anger at being put in their position. My favorite was always been 'Don't Tread On Me'. I cannot believe I am considering this, but given the fact that the press is glossing over this attack on Christianity (the same press whom will go on for weeks about protests by other religious organizations..and why they are right), and given the fact that if Christians whom do choose to voice their protest against this series/movie are called over reacting, and that unfortunately no one seems to have stepped up for those calling us this to ask them to think (as we have been time and time again), then I vow this; on opening day I plan on showing up at our local theater wearing my replica of the revolutionary war flag I loved so much.
'Don't Tread On Me'
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Friday, September 28, 2007
Don't Tread On Me
When the men and women of our nations beginning decided to revolt against their king, their established government, it wasn’t because they were being tortured. It wasn’t because they were hungry and starving. I wasn’t because they lived in poverty. It was because they were thinking of the men and women of today.
Each and every one of those reasons would have been an easy justification for revolt, for change. Yet if you review history, you find that the people who sacrificed all on our behalves suffered not these challenges. What they needed, they made, or traded for; not much different from today. However, they held as a core belief that a person was responsible for themselves. They asked not for handouts, they asked not for credit, they asked not. Period. This core belief was what earned them the rights to revolt, what gave them the passion to stand up to the greatest army they had known, and much had served in. They understood that each person was equal and as such deserved the right to be that way. This all came from the self independence they possessed. They knew that if they could not take care of themselves, then how could they take care of others? And if they could not take care of others, then what gave them the rights to govern themselves. They understood responsibility in ways that shame us, that we call fiction and can only find in movies and books. Were they better than us? Undoubtedly. Where they different from us? The honest answer is no. Was life that much rougher for them that they were forced to revolt? Again, no. Compare the living conditions of them to our inner cities and it seems like paradise. Why then? Why did they choose the hard path? Why did they choose the actions that led to them loosing their sons, their daughters, whole towns? They knew that if THEY did not act, then never would the course change. So what was the course they wanted changed?
Because they held themselves responsible for themselves and asked not from anyone else, they expected, nay they DEMANDED, the same from each other. They valued concepts such as respect, integrity, courtesy, and common decency. They demanded it of themselves and expected the next man or woman to demand it of themselves as well. The neighbor who didn’t was thought of as simple at best, and as an animal at worst…and they knew how to deal with animals. All of these concepts can be rolled up into so many words, but the one I choose, and I imagine they used was HONOR. They treated others with honor, and they expected to be treated the same. What they were finding is that the English government wasn’t living up to the colonists ideals, and put quite simply they had a very hard time tolerating it from someone who they did not have to answer to, and no tolerance for someone they did. Unfair taxes, illegal search and seizure, double standards from the officials representing the government, were only a few of the things they saw. As honorable people, they attempted to change this through speech, patience, protest, so many ways and yet they found their voices went unheard, their actions unnoticed. Enough had become enough. If not them, then logically wouldn't their children be subject to so much more? If not them, then how long before it became so route that no one would think of asking? If not them, then how long before honor was not something that was valued, became something that was actually a rarity, or worse a crime. How long before what they had worked so hard for became forgotten?
Writing this, I wish I could stand before them, to apologize to them for what we have let our nation become. I have the feeling though, that they would not accept it. They would consider us not worthy of offering them this, and wonder how they failed.
I love and honor our countries ideals. I have served in our Armed Forces. I have said this before, and I will say again I would kill or die for them, but these very ideals of our country are THE ideals that all of us should be willing to make the same sacrifices for. It is not the fact that we are the United States of America; it is the goals of those who founded this country had choosen. Those goals are worthy of the sacrifice, of my honor. I cannot help but think of those goals and compare them to how we live as a country today. Compare the same reasons they choose to rise up then, to what I see today. How do I honor them without being willing to do the same, to breathe their words? The words they so elegantly put down in our Declaration of Independence;
“When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.”
Let mine not be the only voice calling for radical change. It is time for action. It is time for revolution.
Each and every one of those reasons would have been an easy justification for revolt, for change. Yet if you review history, you find that the people who sacrificed all on our behalves suffered not these challenges. What they needed, they made, or traded for; not much different from today. However, they held as a core belief that a person was responsible for themselves. They asked not for handouts, they asked not for credit, they asked not. Period. This core belief was what earned them the rights to revolt, what gave them the passion to stand up to the greatest army they had known, and much had served in. They understood that each person was equal and as such deserved the right to be that way. This all came from the self independence they possessed. They knew that if they could not take care of themselves, then how could they take care of others? And if they could not take care of others, then what gave them the rights to govern themselves. They understood responsibility in ways that shame us, that we call fiction and can only find in movies and books. Were they better than us? Undoubtedly. Where they different from us? The honest answer is no. Was life that much rougher for them that they were forced to revolt? Again, no. Compare the living conditions of them to our inner cities and it seems like paradise. Why then? Why did they choose the hard path? Why did they choose the actions that led to them loosing their sons, their daughters, whole towns? They knew that if THEY did not act, then never would the course change. So what was the course they wanted changed?
Because they held themselves responsible for themselves and asked not from anyone else, they expected, nay they DEMANDED, the same from each other. They valued concepts such as respect, integrity, courtesy, and common decency. They demanded it of themselves and expected the next man or woman to demand it of themselves as well. The neighbor who didn’t was thought of as simple at best, and as an animal at worst…and they knew how to deal with animals. All of these concepts can be rolled up into so many words, but the one I choose, and I imagine they used was HONOR. They treated others with honor, and they expected to be treated the same. What they were finding is that the English government wasn’t living up to the colonists ideals, and put quite simply they had a very hard time tolerating it from someone who they did not have to answer to, and no tolerance for someone they did. Unfair taxes, illegal search and seizure, double standards from the officials representing the government, were only a few of the things they saw. As honorable people, they attempted to change this through speech, patience, protest, so many ways and yet they found their voices went unheard, their actions unnoticed. Enough had become enough. If not them, then logically wouldn't their children be subject to so much more? If not them, then how long before it became so route that no one would think of asking? If not them, then how long before honor was not something that was valued, became something that was actually a rarity, or worse a crime. How long before what they had worked so hard for became forgotten?
Writing this, I wish I could stand before them, to apologize to them for what we have let our nation become. I have the feeling though, that they would not accept it. They would consider us not worthy of offering them this, and wonder how they failed.
I love and honor our countries ideals. I have served in our Armed Forces. I have said this before, and I will say again I would kill or die for them, but these very ideals of our country are THE ideals that all of us should be willing to make the same sacrifices for. It is not the fact that we are the United States of America; it is the goals of those who founded this country had choosen. Those goals are worthy of the sacrifice, of my honor. I cannot help but think of those goals and compare them to how we live as a country today. Compare the same reasons they choose to rise up then, to what I see today. How do I honor them without being willing to do the same, to breathe their words? The words they so elegantly put down in our Declaration of Independence;
“When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.”
Let mine not be the only voice calling for radical change. It is time for action. It is time for revolution.
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
Some days I live for tomorrow
It’s been a while since I had the chance to sit down and try to write out my experiences with you, my friends. So many things have happened since my last post, some of them minor, some major, but all have taken up my time and more importantly my emotions and soul. I know of some folks who find the easy way to deal with their emotions is to dump them out as they get them, to analyze them as they come along, to look for help or guidance with them, to share them. I wish at times I could be those people, but I just can’t. As emotions build in me, I let them control me. The stronger they get, the more I feel as that emotion is the only thing I will ever feel again. Situations where they come back to back, over and over, usually end up weeks later with me reeling from the ride, and in most times feeling deep regret for what I have done or could have done. I have no control of them, nor do I even feel the desire to do so.
I can assume it is something due to my condition, or rather how that condition affected the way I grew both mentally and physically. I know that my anger is rooted in this. I have been told repeatedly by my doctors that I must learn that my anger is so deeply ingrained in how I react to situations because of this, that I have to force myself to acknowledge it, and deal with it immediately, lest I learn nothing. Good words and ideas, but actually doing it I usually end up failing miserably at. Such is life though. I also know what the cause of that anger is, what makes it so easy to take hold of me, to feel that I can only deal with situations through it; my fears.
I cannot even begin to imagine life without my children. I don’t think I ever really understood what kind of deep love a parent has for their children, until I became a father. You hear the saying all the time ‘I would gladly kill or lay down my life for my children’, yet it is SO true. They are my life line, my sanity, so many times in this world. But with that deep love, I have found the other side, the blackest fears. Fears that can and do, result in paralyzing me. Fears that make people ask if I am ok, that I look like I am deep pain to them. Fear..
I have found that I cannot watch a television show or a movie if they are dealing with the death of children. I really wanted to see 'The Messengers', but never made it past the young boy in the beginning. It seems so out of touch with reality, but I hear the cries of the actors and in my head I can hear my children screaming the same way and I want to run and hide, but I can’t as they are my children, so I lash out with anger with all of that fear. One night I walked into the room as my wife had on some crime drama and I saw on the screen a young girl being tortured, her crying out ‘Mommy, Mommy!!!’. The blackness of hearing that cry took over me and I left the room and swung our bedroom door shut so hard that I ripped out the handle of the door. In my anger at doing so I punched the area where the handle used to be and slashed two of my fingers to the bone. I ended up at the medical center getting stitches, lying to my wife and the doctor, telling them that when the handle came loose I cut myself. The doctor bought it, but my wife I know to this day knows better.
I have talked to my doctors about these fears before, and they classify them as anxiety attacks. I try to tell them that I have these reactions not daily, but instantly. I have tried to show them this, and they nod and up my medicine or change it at times, and schedule more counseling. I WORK at them, I honestly do, but they are there with me always. As I sit and write this, I had them just typing the paragraph above (took me a few minutes to calm down and write this one). They are part of me, like my anger, like my passions. They are my soul and I cannot cut it up and take pieces out and discard them. I will live with them, and deal with the consequences of them. But I don’t have to like them, nor do I have to like why I am this way, what my condition did to make my life like this, so deep in me that I cannot separate what I should and shouldn’t have been. I had a good childhood, I was loved and taken care of, I had shelter and food and toys and friends. I will not complain about it, I see too many people who have not even the knowledge that tomorrow will come for them as tonight death stalks their streets.
I don’t have to like this though..
I thank you for being my friends. I think of times I was more than I would take from anyone and you loved me all the time through them, never backing down. Thank you..
I can assume it is something due to my condition, or rather how that condition affected the way I grew both mentally and physically. I know that my anger is rooted in this. I have been told repeatedly by my doctors that I must learn that my anger is so deeply ingrained in how I react to situations because of this, that I have to force myself to acknowledge it, and deal with it immediately, lest I learn nothing. Good words and ideas, but actually doing it I usually end up failing miserably at. Such is life though. I also know what the cause of that anger is, what makes it so easy to take hold of me, to feel that I can only deal with situations through it; my fears.
I cannot even begin to imagine life without my children. I don’t think I ever really understood what kind of deep love a parent has for their children, until I became a father. You hear the saying all the time ‘I would gladly kill or lay down my life for my children’, yet it is SO true. They are my life line, my sanity, so many times in this world. But with that deep love, I have found the other side, the blackest fears. Fears that can and do, result in paralyzing me. Fears that make people ask if I am ok, that I look like I am deep pain to them. Fear..
I have found that I cannot watch a television show or a movie if they are dealing with the death of children. I really wanted to see 'The Messengers', but never made it past the young boy in the beginning. It seems so out of touch with reality, but I hear the cries of the actors and in my head I can hear my children screaming the same way and I want to run and hide, but I can’t as they are my children, so I lash out with anger with all of that fear. One night I walked into the room as my wife had on some crime drama and I saw on the screen a young girl being tortured, her crying out ‘Mommy, Mommy!!!’. The blackness of hearing that cry took over me and I left the room and swung our bedroom door shut so hard that I ripped out the handle of the door. In my anger at doing so I punched the area where the handle used to be and slashed two of my fingers to the bone. I ended up at the medical center getting stitches, lying to my wife and the doctor, telling them that when the handle came loose I cut myself. The doctor bought it, but my wife I know to this day knows better.
I have talked to my doctors about these fears before, and they classify them as anxiety attacks. I try to tell them that I have these reactions not daily, but instantly. I have tried to show them this, and they nod and up my medicine or change it at times, and schedule more counseling. I WORK at them, I honestly do, but they are there with me always. As I sit and write this, I had them just typing the paragraph above (took me a few minutes to calm down and write this one). They are part of me, like my anger, like my passions. They are my soul and I cannot cut it up and take pieces out and discard them. I will live with them, and deal with the consequences of them. But I don’t have to like them, nor do I have to like why I am this way, what my condition did to make my life like this, so deep in me that I cannot separate what I should and shouldn’t have been. I had a good childhood, I was loved and taken care of, I had shelter and food and toys and friends. I will not complain about it, I see too many people who have not even the knowledge that tomorrow will come for them as tonight death stalks their streets.
I don’t have to like this though..
I thank you for being my friends. I think of times I was more than I would take from anyone and you loved me all the time through them, never backing down. Thank you..
Friday, July 13, 2007
Fucking Marines.....
Fred used to remind me of one of the Marine’s mottos; ‘Not on my watch’. I always thought those words held such power, but I had no idea until September 11th 2001. Like everyone in the United States, I watched this horror, and like everyone else (I assume), I kept thinking about my children. What if they were there? Whose children were there? That day I grasped what Fred was telling me, those words he lived and I was unworthy of. That day I vowed to do my best to live those words too. I knew I would never be worthy of them, never hold a candle to the brave men and women who’s very lives breathed those words, but I vowed to do my best however crappy that may be.
As an part time job during the fall I work as a gatekeeper at Michigan State University stadium for their football games. What that means is I am in charge of a corner of the stadium, gate-wise. I hate the work and I love the work, and to a few ‘green coat’ (stadium security) leaders I am known as the hardest gates. Why? Because when I walk into that stadium for work I hear Fred talking to me. “Not on my watch’. Strange as it sounds, I honestly can hear his voice each day. ‘Not on my watch.’ If the call is search the fans as they enter, then you better believe I make sure that every security guard I have is patting EVERYONE down. If the call is no bags bigger than X, then if some family starts bitching to my guys because they didn't hear and are in from California and their car is 3 miles away, I step in and tell them ' Sorry, but that is the rule. If you wish to enter the stadium you will follow them or you can leave now.' I don't have many fans at times, but I keep hearing that voice and then I see how many ways it could happen that day and I suck it up and tell them that's the way it is going to be and fuck off if they won't listen.
I can’t say that Analysts International (my normal job) and I have always got along, but I have never thought about leaving them. Then I got this call Friday. Resource Management told me Friday at noon, that I would be 3 days in Wyoming starting Monday for a project for the Wyoming Highway Patrol. What I was told at first was that I would build a server, array, workstations, etc. and then turn the whole thing over to a vendor, allow them to install their software, etc. and document the whole procedure. The project involves replacing the Wyoming Highway Patrol’s camera systems with a new vendor’s setup. One that would utilize a hard drive in the trooper’s cars that would be removed at shift end and via a PC docking station would be stored on an array on the network. It was sketchy details at best, but considering that Sunday night I had to get to Cheyenne Wyoming I wasn’t able to get much details. Monday morning I found out different.
Apparently WYDOT (Wyoming Department of Transportation) is in control of the highway patrols budgets, etc. They were convinced by the new vendor that this setup I was to do was golden and the best out there. Of course the vendor backed out actually being there to help the install, and I get the great duty of installing stuff I have never used before. As I setup the hardware (notice I have not even GOT to their software solution) I find out what they are pitching and WYDOT has supposedly bought into is a PIECE OF SHIT!!!! I am pretty sure I did the ‘What? That can’t be right?” thing and WYDOT starts asking for my recommendation so I give it point blank. It turns out that WYDOT was just playing me for free consulting. Our company was hired to do nothing more than the grunt work (unbox, rack and install). Not that it really mattered as there is no way I can keep my mouth shut on this. All I could think about was the officer’s safety. I kept hearing Fred..
So here I am after doing an initial install. I am supposed to just do documentation of how to setup the cluster fuck they are supposed to do. WYDOT wants me to do the consulting thing, which our company doesn’t want to do as they are not being paid for it, and more importantly what I recommend can be use in a court of law. And because it is Highway Patrol, then it is actually a Federal matter. The problem they are asking my opinion on has NO solution. I have been give impossible parameters to try to provide a solution for, and normally I would tell them that they need to just accept this. However, the issue deals with the officers safety. Not in real time, but used as evidence or in criminal investigations. What I decide could be a case where a zealous lawyer could challenge, and one good enough could convince a jury that there was a case of evidence tampering. One that could negate any good it is supposed to do. One that could be used as precedence to overturn prior rulings. I don’t want this, I mean I REALLY, REALLY, REALLY don’t want or need this. I have no training on this, I can’t tell them whether what is good in real life is legal. My company’s legal staff won’t talk on this until they get a signed thing from WYDOT. WYDOT wants answers now, but won’t budge on their budget, and meanwhile entire patrol offices are without protection until this happens.
I am afraid of this project. What I might do might let some murderer loose. It might get a good trooper in trouble. I am not the man they need on this. They need a real person, a smart person to figure this out. Not me. I want to run or shoot myself or whatever it takes to get away from this. The problem is I keep hearing Fred.
I can’t leave them, I can’t abandon men and women who walk into deaths den every day for me, just because I am afraid. It’s not fair to them. They are relying upon someone whose has my skills to make the best decision for them, just like I depend on them to know how to keep the child molesters off my kids. I won’t do that to them. I can’t.
I have no idea what I am going to do, but I pray that the spirit of a lot of good men and women will guide me on this. I would love to say ‘right or wrong I will stand by this’, but I can’t. I can’t afford wrong. I will make it right, because I can’t let that voice down. Not on my watch.
As an part time job during the fall I work as a gatekeeper at Michigan State University stadium for their football games. What that means is I am in charge of a corner of the stadium, gate-wise. I hate the work and I love the work, and to a few ‘green coat’ (stadium security) leaders I am known as the hardest gates. Why? Because when I walk into that stadium for work I hear Fred talking to me. “Not on my watch’. Strange as it sounds, I honestly can hear his voice each day. ‘Not on my watch.’ If the call is search the fans as they enter, then you better believe I make sure that every security guard I have is patting EVERYONE down. If the call is no bags bigger than X, then if some family starts bitching to my guys because they didn't hear and are in from California and their car is 3 miles away, I step in and tell them ' Sorry, but that is the rule. If you wish to enter the stadium you will follow them or you can leave now.' I don't have many fans at times, but I keep hearing that voice and then I see how many ways it could happen that day and I suck it up and tell them that's the way it is going to be and fuck off if they won't listen.
I can’t say that Analysts International (my normal job) and I have always got along, but I have never thought about leaving them. Then I got this call Friday. Resource Management told me Friday at noon, that I would be 3 days in Wyoming starting Monday for a project for the Wyoming Highway Patrol. What I was told at first was that I would build a server, array, workstations, etc. and then turn the whole thing over to a vendor, allow them to install their software, etc. and document the whole procedure. The project involves replacing the Wyoming Highway Patrol’s camera systems with a new vendor’s setup. One that would utilize a hard drive in the trooper’s cars that would be removed at shift end and via a PC docking station would be stored on an array on the network. It was sketchy details at best, but considering that Sunday night I had to get to Cheyenne Wyoming I wasn’t able to get much details. Monday morning I found out different.
Apparently WYDOT (Wyoming Department of Transportation) is in control of the highway patrols budgets, etc. They were convinced by the new vendor that this setup I was to do was golden and the best out there. Of course the vendor backed out actually being there to help the install, and I get the great duty of installing stuff I have never used before. As I setup the hardware (notice I have not even GOT to their software solution) I find out what they are pitching and WYDOT has supposedly bought into is a PIECE OF SHIT!!!! I am pretty sure I did the ‘What? That can’t be right?” thing and WYDOT starts asking for my recommendation so I give it point blank. It turns out that WYDOT was just playing me for free consulting. Our company was hired to do nothing more than the grunt work (unbox, rack and install). Not that it really mattered as there is no way I can keep my mouth shut on this. All I could think about was the officer’s safety. I kept hearing Fred..
So here I am after doing an initial install. I am supposed to just do documentation of how to setup the cluster fuck they are supposed to do. WYDOT wants me to do the consulting thing, which our company doesn’t want to do as they are not being paid for it, and more importantly what I recommend can be use in a court of law. And because it is Highway Patrol, then it is actually a Federal matter. The problem they are asking my opinion on has NO solution. I have been give impossible parameters to try to provide a solution for, and normally I would tell them that they need to just accept this. However, the issue deals with the officers safety. Not in real time, but used as evidence or in criminal investigations. What I decide could be a case where a zealous lawyer could challenge, and one good enough could convince a jury that there was a case of evidence tampering. One that could negate any good it is supposed to do. One that could be used as precedence to overturn prior rulings. I don’t want this, I mean I REALLY, REALLY, REALLY don’t want or need this. I have no training on this, I can’t tell them whether what is good in real life is legal. My company’s legal staff won’t talk on this until they get a signed thing from WYDOT. WYDOT wants answers now, but won’t budge on their budget, and meanwhile entire patrol offices are without protection until this happens.
I am afraid of this project. What I might do might let some murderer loose. It might get a good trooper in trouble. I am not the man they need on this. They need a real person, a smart person to figure this out. Not me. I want to run or shoot myself or whatever it takes to get away from this. The problem is I keep hearing Fred.
I can’t leave them, I can’t abandon men and women who walk into deaths den every day for me, just because I am afraid. It’s not fair to them. They are relying upon someone whose has my skills to make the best decision for them, just like I depend on them to know how to keep the child molesters off my kids. I won’t do that to them. I can’t.
I have no idea what I am going to do, but I pray that the spirit of a lot of good men and women will guide me on this. I would love to say ‘right or wrong I will stand by this’, but I can’t. I can’t afford wrong. I will make it right, because I can’t let that voice down. Not on my watch.
Thursday, July 5, 2007
The end is near!! Again!!! For the umpteenth time!!!
I love my wife...honestly I do. She can be a real pain at times, but I have never been the picture of calm and perfect. I will freely admit this; the older I have gotten, the less tolerance I have for stupidity and crassness. Yes folks, I am WELL into the process of becoming a grumpy old man. To which I say 'Fuck em they can't take me'. So yeah, she is a saint at times for putting up with me. She does have one quality that I absolutely, completely hate. Ironically it is the one that she makes me put up with the most often. What is it you ask? Reality shows..
I will admit that I actually liked the fist series of Survivor. Heck, I liked whatever the hell the series was that had Rupert on it. I can even say that I have contemplated calling up Chuck and asking him about trying out for Amazing Race. Past that, I really, really, really hate reality shows. Although the hate I have for these shows runs deep and hard, and there are LOTS and LOTS of reasons why I hate them, there is one reason that is the prime factor in my complete disgust at them...the word reality. Yet here I sit again (forced) watching the worst of the worst...Big Brother.
I always thought that reality meant things that can actually happen in real life. Or at least something loosely along those lines. However Big Brother (OK, I really have to include every single fucking MTV series!!!!!!) seems to ignore this. Specifically, they introduce a whole household of models and 6 pack dudes, the oldest being what...29, and tell us that THIS is a true slice of America. Heads up CBS, the VAST MAJORITY of the US doesn't live in dorms doing crunches all day. The sheer fact that they populate these shows (pretty much every single CBS reality show) with these folks and tell us that the players are the 'average American' is reason enough to be pissed. Adding to the factor is that these individuals insist that they are the best simply because of their looks, and it just makes me want put a few rounds into my TV.
CBS also includes two 'stereotypes' in their shows; the gay man and the 'older' person. I guess they figure if they are actually challenged on their premise, they can point two those two individuals and claim they really are representing the medium. The gay males are pretty much cookie cutter versions of Jack from Will and Grace..funny at first, annoying after the newness wears off. The 'older' person has at least been the one person that MOST times actually looked like the rest of us. OK, Chicken George and Richard were scary, but WTF, they were guys I think I have worked with. This year on Big Brother though it looks like CBS decided to drop the sham and just do what makes them money. So here I sit watching the new household (THANK YOU DEAR) and each and EVERY one of them is an add for Avercrombie and Finch.
I guess I should thank CBS for this. At least my wife has no grounds to tell me that I am exaggerating anymore...oh that and the brunette with big boobs who wears bikini tops.
I will admit that I actually liked the fist series of Survivor. Heck, I liked whatever the hell the series was that had Rupert on it. I can even say that I have contemplated calling up Chuck and asking him about trying out for Amazing Race. Past that, I really, really, really hate reality shows. Although the hate I have for these shows runs deep and hard, and there are LOTS and LOTS of reasons why I hate them, there is one reason that is the prime factor in my complete disgust at them...the word reality. Yet here I sit again (forced) watching the worst of the worst...Big Brother.
I always thought that reality meant things that can actually happen in real life. Or at least something loosely along those lines. However Big Brother (OK, I really have to include every single fucking MTV series!!!!!!) seems to ignore this. Specifically, they introduce a whole household of models and 6 pack dudes, the oldest being what...29, and tell us that THIS is a true slice of America. Heads up CBS, the VAST MAJORITY of the US doesn't live in dorms doing crunches all day. The sheer fact that they populate these shows (pretty much every single CBS reality show) with these folks and tell us that the players are the 'average American' is reason enough to be pissed. Adding to the factor is that these individuals insist that they are the best simply because of their looks, and it just makes me want put a few rounds into my TV.
CBS also includes two 'stereotypes' in their shows; the gay man and the 'older' person. I guess they figure if they are actually challenged on their premise, they can point two those two individuals and claim they really are representing the medium. The gay males are pretty much cookie cutter versions of Jack from Will and Grace..funny at first, annoying after the newness wears off. The 'older' person has at least been the one person that MOST times actually looked like the rest of us. OK, Chicken George and Richard were scary, but WTF, they were guys I think I have worked with. This year on Big Brother though it looks like CBS decided to drop the sham and just do what makes them money. So here I sit watching the new household (THANK YOU DEAR) and each and EVERY one of them is an add for Avercrombie and Finch.
I guess I should thank CBS for this. At least my wife has no grounds to tell me that I am exaggerating anymore...oh that and the brunette with big boobs who wears bikini tops.
Thursday, June 28, 2007
Do I take the red pill or the blue pill..
I am sitting in the office today, trying to get some work done for one of our customers. Boring, repetitive work, and I am having a hard time keeping going. In essence, a customer wants to know when a certain event happened in their domain. An event that they swore up and down to me didn’t ever happen, but as I showed them on their DC’s, DID happen. They are freaked about this, and although it IS bizarre, there is no need for them to spaz out like this. In order for them to have me track it down, they have sent me the event logs from their servers. ALL the event logs, from ALL of their servers. From January 1st of this year. The ones they have been saving weekly. *sigh*
Needless piece of information: There are no programs out there that will allow you to import multiple .evt files at once..or join multiple .evt files. Well that is unless your actually on one of the servers in that domain..which I am not..obviously.
So my day is sucking eggs big time, and I get an email from one of the corporate lead engineer guys. He says there is a customer that wants to upgrade to OES2 and have I done one before? Immediately I feel the anger building, which I will talk about later. I tell him that OES2 JUST went into beta2 and isn’t available yet. I get our local (well only one in the state) Novell rep (nice gal and an acquaintance) on the phone just to verify and she says that THEY don’t even have a ship date listed yet. Shortly later I get another engineer that was copied on the email, replying back that OES2 isn’t anything more then Netware 6.5 with a new SP or SUSE with SP2. WRONG!!! Which leads me to why I was starting to see red (no pun intended).
Novell in their infinite wisdom has decided to pretty much fuck up every Netware engineer’s lives. Why? Because some Microsoft hating bastard decided that the exact opposite of Windows is LINUX. AND that same bastards influence is running rampart around their company. So, to show just how different and better they are against the evil empire of Microsoft they are going to ship OES2 WITHOUT THE FUCKING NETWARE KERNEL!! Sure, you can run Netware as a virtual on OES2. They are saying it will make the Netware guys feel better by allowing them to have an environment that won’t seem as drastic. Of course if you need to do anything else on the server, like say…oh fixing it, or upgrading it, or just about everything fucking else, your going to need to learn SUSE. Oh, and just to make sure that your going to have to learn it, they are going to discontinue support on 6.5 in 2010 (only a few years earlier than normal for them on their products).
Do I know SUSE? No.
Do I want to learn SUSE? Fucking no!!
Am I going to have to pick up yet another NOS/Language? You bet your sweet bippy.
Am I the only Netware engineer pissed at this? Well..only about 100% of my customers hate this.
Did I mention my position in our company? I am our lead engineer on GroupWise and Zenworks for one. I am also one of two lead engineers in eDir. I also am one of our lead engineers in AD, Exchange, and ISA. So, can you guess what my job is? That’s right boys and girls, I am our head migration engineer. 80% of my work is done on migration projects. As in Company X wants to migrate from Netware to AD, or GroupWise to Exchange. I have absolutely no preference in their products. Each has it’s benefits and weaknesses and I see them both on every project, every day. However, I started out on the red team and have always felt I leaned more towards them. That was until lately.
Oh Bill..? Can I take the blue pill, so the story will end, and I can wake in my bed and I can believe whatever I want to believe?? Please???
Needless piece of information: There are no programs out there that will allow you to import multiple .evt files at once..or join multiple .evt files. Well that is unless your actually on one of the servers in that domain..which I am not..obviously.
So my day is sucking eggs big time, and I get an email from one of the corporate lead engineer guys. He says there is a customer that wants to upgrade to OES2 and have I done one before? Immediately I feel the anger building, which I will talk about later. I tell him that OES2 JUST went into beta2 and isn’t available yet. I get our local (well only one in the state) Novell rep (nice gal and an acquaintance) on the phone just to verify and she says that THEY don’t even have a ship date listed yet. Shortly later I get another engineer that was copied on the email, replying back that OES2 isn’t anything more then Netware 6.5 with a new SP or SUSE with SP2. WRONG!!! Which leads me to why I was starting to see red (no pun intended).
Novell in their infinite wisdom has decided to pretty much fuck up every Netware engineer’s lives. Why? Because some Microsoft hating bastard decided that the exact opposite of Windows is LINUX. AND that same bastards influence is running rampart around their company. So, to show just how different and better they are against the evil empire of Microsoft they are going to ship OES2 WITHOUT THE FUCKING NETWARE KERNEL!! Sure, you can run Netware as a virtual on OES2. They are saying it will make the Netware guys feel better by allowing them to have an environment that won’t seem as drastic. Of course if you need to do anything else on the server, like say…oh fixing it, or upgrading it, or just about everything fucking else, your going to need to learn SUSE. Oh, and just to make sure that your going to have to learn it, they are going to discontinue support on 6.5 in 2010 (only a few years earlier than normal for them on their products).
Do I know SUSE? No.
Do I want to learn SUSE? Fucking no!!
Am I going to have to pick up yet another NOS/Language? You bet your sweet bippy.
Am I the only Netware engineer pissed at this? Well..only about 100% of my customers hate this.
Did I mention my position in our company? I am our lead engineer on GroupWise and Zenworks for one. I am also one of two lead engineers in eDir. I also am one of our lead engineers in AD, Exchange, and ISA. So, can you guess what my job is? That’s right boys and girls, I am our head migration engineer. 80% of my work is done on migration projects. As in Company X wants to migrate from Netware to AD, or GroupWise to Exchange. I have absolutely no preference in their products. Each has it’s benefits and weaknesses and I see them both on every project, every day. However, I started out on the red team and have always felt I leaned more towards them. That was until lately.
Oh Bill..? Can I take the blue pill, so the story will end, and I can wake in my bed and I can believe whatever I want to believe?? Please???
Thursday, June 21, 2007
Damnit Jim, we don't need another hero - or- Beam me up Master Blaster
It was kind of nice that my company had me on a project that was in town this winter. I really didn’t like the company I was doing the work for, but the fact that it was five miles from my house and I didn’t have to drive my Mustang in the winter made up for it. My part in the project was finally done at the end of April and I started back doing my regular consulting work. That means that I am usually not at one site more than a day or so, unless I have been sent out of town. My company has sent me to the four corners of the continent (almost literally), and although I miss being away from the family and bitch about not having down time in between, all in all traveling isn’t too bad. If I’m actually in town, then it means that I do what project management assigns me. Usually I will travel to multiple companies in one day. PM is not the best at figuring out geography though, which is a real headache. What do I mean by that?;
I am based out of the Lansing office along with 4 other LAN/WAN engineers, and a crap load of Cisco guys. We also have offices in Grand Rapids and in Auburn Hills (the old company headquarters). Each office has its own staff of engineers, but the Auburn Hills office has our largest number of them in Michigan (around 30 of them). I am pretty sure the idea behind the satellite offices is to have engineers available near the customer sites, so the customers can get fast response and won’t have to pay travel time. For the sake of folks not living in Michigan let me explain that both offices are 1 ½ hours away from Lansing if your driving during normal commute hours.
Ok, so let's say that resource management gets a call from the Lansing area for a company needing an engineer. They check their schedules and find that all the Lansing engineers are at another company. Instead of actually getting an idea from the company that called what kind of rush the project is, they pull a free engineer from the Auburn Hills office and send them to Lansing. They next get a call from a Detroit business and instead of using a free Auburn Hills engineer (oh Auburn Hills is a suburb of Detroit), they will wait and pull an engineer from the Lansing office once one becomes available. I THINK the reasoning they are doing it that way is that they don’t want to exhaust all the engineers in one office. Of course that doesn’t explain the fact that they have just booked the only available engineer in Lansing, giving us no free engineers yet again, and leaving the Auburn Hills still with free guys. To top it off, they now consider the Lansing guy a Detroit resource (he’s in the area right..?) so they continue to assign him Detroit calls. What that boils down to is that during the summer time I end up spending a hell of a lot of my time in Detroit, or should I say on the road to Detroit.
The commute time to Detroit in the morning/afternoons jumps from over one hour, to close to three hours. Traffic comes to a complete stop around 20 miles from the city daily from 6:30am to 9:00am, and visa versa from 4:00pm until 6:00pm. It’s a typical traffic jam; a lot of sitting around, waves of actually moving, and idiots who have to change lanes every minute because they think they are going to get there faster. It happens all around the country, so no big deal right? Then again...
Michigan is one of the few states where the speed limit on the highways is 70mph. What that translates to is a medium speed of 80 to 85mph normally. In the mornings and afternoons coming out of/or going into traffic jams from Detroit things change. The medium speed during those times can push over 90mph. I understand it; you get fed up with sitting still, or worry about getting to work on time and you feel you need to speed up to make up time (what did our drivers ED teachers say??). If you can imagine four lanes of ALMOST bumper to bumper traffic going at 90mph then you get an idea of how hairy it can get some afternoons. I can’t count the number of times I have thought to myself how amazingly lucky I just was after I have gotten away from the traffic like that (usually around the midpoint). I will stop for a pop around then, try to relax for a second and then continue home. I understand that if I don’t stop, then I can easily get out of control. But some folks just don’t understand this. You see, I can deal with the traffic jams, and the light-speed packs, but I have a real problem with the next set of folks; the ones still pumped from the high speed packs, the ones still thinking they are late to ??, and who now find themselves on a two land highway instead of four. What ends up next is where the push comes to shove and the real road rage starts.
There have always been a few things I have wanted to tell people driving during this time, and I figure venting them here is relatively safe, and who knows maybe someone will actually read this and act upon it??
1. If I pass you, or attempt to (see below), then I am NOT insulting you. I am not saying I am better than you, hell 99.99% of the time I don’t even pay attention to who is driving the car. It isn’t personal, it’s just I would like to maintain the speed I am driving.
2. Please do NOT spend your entire drive time in the left hand lane. It is for PASSING folks and then getting over. If you were paying attention as I approached you or you actually let me pass you, you will see that I get out of that lane when I am not passing. I am not trying to be the fastest; there are at least 5 other cars I see on a daily basis during the commute that are traveling waaaay faster than me. They have their speeds, I have mine, and you have yours.
3. I have two pet names for my car, and the first is My Bird of Prey. Why, you ask? Because folks seem to believe that I am equipped with a cloaking device and uncloak my car when I get behind them. I get EXTREMELY tired of people doing 75mph until I get up to pass them and them speeding up to go faster than me. Please do not give me the look of ‘But I was always doing 85mph!!!’. You weren’t or I wouldn’t have been able to actually get up to you.
4. Which leads me to my second pet name for my car; Sheepdog. I can keep 4 or 5 of the sort of folks listed above in front of me for miles on end, no matter what speed I go. I have been known to bark and howl uncontrollably at them. I also like to test their limits; say dropping to 65mph and then hitting the gas pedal hard once or twice (I LOVE to hear their engines sound like they are about to explode as they get surprised) or stressing their engines by making them max out I as take it up to 95mph. I figure if you’re going to do what you are doing for no other reason then to piss me off I might as well get revenge my way.
5. IF there are semis in the right hand lane separated by more than a few hundred feet; please, please GET OVER and let people pass you. Nothing makes my blood boil more, than a line of 20 cars refusing to get over led by some grandma doing 65mph. I can’t get around them, as EVERY person in that line will not let me get ahead of them, ‘how dare I try!!’. Oh, and when you get clear of that situation, please see rule one. You’re not going to keep going 85mph more than one or two miles, so please play nicely.
6. Assured clear distance is a wonderful thing. I actually do care if I make it home alive and I definitely understand that SHIT HAPPENS on the highway. It is NOT a spot you can squeeze your car into. That is how traffic jams happens as I now have to slam my brakes and try not to kill you. If you see that happen to me, please do not get the idea in your head that I am going slow and am the perfect person for you to do the exact same thing as soon as I get some space back again.
7. Pickup truck owners listen up, this one is just for you. Yeah, your pickup probably has a V8 and without you hauling anything (WHY buy a truck and not actually USE it as a truck??..a bitch for later) you’re pretty fast. Makes you feel pretty good I imagine knowing you have that kind of power. Guess what?? I have a V8 too (Ford folks, it’s the same fucking engine) and I weigh a hell of a lot less than you do. What does that mean?? It means I can beat your truck HANDS DOWN. Just because I don’t floor it around you doesn’t mean that I can’t, and you were right about your truck being the most bad ass thing around. Heads up, every now and then I do. BOY do you guys get pissed as I dust your ass!
8. Middle age guys driving vans; this one is for you. Yes, you can keep up with me, and if you push your van you can keep ahead of me. I understand your feeling like you need SOMETHING to prove you’re still a stud and here is the perfect situation. You can prove that your van ‘is TOO a kick ass car’, and your not getting that old, by keeping up and passing my Mustang. Heads up guys; at 90mph I still have 60mph left to go and if I drop the pedal, it still kicks into overdrive. Just because I do not want to be totally insane by driving faster than 90mph, does NOT mean that I can’t…however, it does mean that you can’t. I would love to be your mechanics as you are stressing the heck out of your engine, and you must have to put it in the shop all the time. I have actually seen some poor shmuck blow black and greasy grey smoke doing this one afternoon, and yeah I laughed my ass off at the guy and actually clapped my hands for him as I passed his now fucked up vehicle. Boy was his wife going to be pissed*grin*.
9. Gals, I really honestly do love the opposite sex. I think the vast majority of you are sexy and if I wasn’t married I would probably be a huge slut. I don’t know if it is me (I have been told I look pretty good), the Mustang, a combination of both, that driving fast makes you horny, or whatever; but please listen to me on this. Trying to play tag with me at 85mph is not something that is going to cause me to say “Man I HAVE to get that gals number” or whatever the hell it is you want. It IS going to eventually make me get off the highway, but not for the reasons you might want; I have had a number of you follow me off at the exit I just swerved onto at the last second (Sometimes the phrase ‘Dear Penthouse’ goes through my mind *lol*). I am not getting off the highway to hook up. The reason is because deep in my heart I honestly want to get the fuck AWAY from you. My car is more valuable to me than any part of the body you are offering me. Sorry..
Ok, so this post was rather long and I apologize for it, but I hope you actually read it through. Anyways, I’m headed out to gas up the V8 and boldly go where no sane man has ever wanted to be..the highway.
I am based out of the Lansing office along with 4 other LAN/WAN engineers, and a crap load of Cisco guys. We also have offices in Grand Rapids and in Auburn Hills (the old company headquarters). Each office has its own staff of engineers, but the Auburn Hills office has our largest number of them in Michigan (around 30 of them). I am pretty sure the idea behind the satellite offices is to have engineers available near the customer sites, so the customers can get fast response and won’t have to pay travel time. For the sake of folks not living in Michigan let me explain that both offices are 1 ½ hours away from Lansing if your driving during normal commute hours.
Ok, so let's say that resource management gets a call from the Lansing area for a company needing an engineer. They check their schedules and find that all the Lansing engineers are at another company. Instead of actually getting an idea from the company that called what kind of rush the project is, they pull a free engineer from the Auburn Hills office and send them to Lansing. They next get a call from a Detroit business and instead of using a free Auburn Hills engineer (oh Auburn Hills is a suburb of Detroit), they will wait and pull an engineer from the Lansing office once one becomes available. I THINK the reasoning they are doing it that way is that they don’t want to exhaust all the engineers in one office. Of course that doesn’t explain the fact that they have just booked the only available engineer in Lansing, giving us no free engineers yet again, and leaving the Auburn Hills still with free guys. To top it off, they now consider the Lansing guy a Detroit resource (he’s in the area right..?) so they continue to assign him Detroit calls. What that boils down to is that during the summer time I end up spending a hell of a lot of my time in Detroit, or should I say on the road to Detroit.
The commute time to Detroit in the morning/afternoons jumps from over one hour, to close to three hours. Traffic comes to a complete stop around 20 miles from the city daily from 6:30am to 9:00am, and visa versa from 4:00pm until 6:00pm. It’s a typical traffic jam; a lot of sitting around, waves of actually moving, and idiots who have to change lanes every minute because they think they are going to get there faster. It happens all around the country, so no big deal right? Then again...
Michigan is one of the few states where the speed limit on the highways is 70mph. What that translates to is a medium speed of 80 to 85mph normally. In the mornings and afternoons coming out of/or going into traffic jams from Detroit things change. The medium speed during those times can push over 90mph. I understand it; you get fed up with sitting still, or worry about getting to work on time and you feel you need to speed up to make up time (what did our drivers ED teachers say??). If you can imagine four lanes of ALMOST bumper to bumper traffic going at 90mph then you get an idea of how hairy it can get some afternoons. I can’t count the number of times I have thought to myself how amazingly lucky I just was after I have gotten away from the traffic like that (usually around the midpoint). I will stop for a pop around then, try to relax for a second and then continue home. I understand that if I don’t stop, then I can easily get out of control. But some folks just don’t understand this. You see, I can deal with the traffic jams, and the light-speed packs, but I have a real problem with the next set of folks; the ones still pumped from the high speed packs, the ones still thinking they are late to ??, and who now find themselves on a two land highway instead of four. What ends up next is where the push comes to shove and the real road rage starts.
There have always been a few things I have wanted to tell people driving during this time, and I figure venting them here is relatively safe, and who knows maybe someone will actually read this and act upon it??
1. If I pass you, or attempt to (see below), then I am NOT insulting you. I am not saying I am better than you, hell 99.99% of the time I don’t even pay attention to who is driving the car. It isn’t personal, it’s just I would like to maintain the speed I am driving.
2. Please do NOT spend your entire drive time in the left hand lane. It is for PASSING folks and then getting over. If you were paying attention as I approached you or you actually let me pass you, you will see that I get out of that lane when I am not passing. I am not trying to be the fastest; there are at least 5 other cars I see on a daily basis during the commute that are traveling waaaay faster than me. They have their speeds, I have mine, and you have yours.
3. I have two pet names for my car, and the first is My Bird of Prey. Why, you ask? Because folks seem to believe that I am equipped with a cloaking device and uncloak my car when I get behind them. I get EXTREMELY tired of people doing 75mph until I get up to pass them and them speeding up to go faster than me. Please do not give me the look of ‘But I was always doing 85mph!!!’. You weren’t or I wouldn’t have been able to actually get up to you.
4. Which leads me to my second pet name for my car; Sheepdog. I can keep 4 or 5 of the sort of folks listed above in front of me for miles on end, no matter what speed I go. I have been known to bark and howl uncontrollably at them. I also like to test their limits; say dropping to 65mph and then hitting the gas pedal hard once or twice (I LOVE to hear their engines sound like they are about to explode as they get surprised) or stressing their engines by making them max out I as take it up to 95mph. I figure if you’re going to do what you are doing for no other reason then to piss me off I might as well get revenge my way.
5. IF there are semis in the right hand lane separated by more than a few hundred feet; please, please GET OVER and let people pass you. Nothing makes my blood boil more, than a line of 20 cars refusing to get over led by some grandma doing 65mph. I can’t get around them, as EVERY person in that line will not let me get ahead of them, ‘how dare I try!!’. Oh, and when you get clear of that situation, please see rule one. You’re not going to keep going 85mph more than one or two miles, so please play nicely.
6. Assured clear distance is a wonderful thing. I actually do care if I make it home alive and I definitely understand that SHIT HAPPENS on the highway. It is NOT a spot you can squeeze your car into. That is how traffic jams happens as I now have to slam my brakes and try not to kill you. If you see that happen to me, please do not get the idea in your head that I am going slow and am the perfect person for you to do the exact same thing as soon as I get some space back again.
7. Pickup truck owners listen up, this one is just for you. Yeah, your pickup probably has a V8 and without you hauling anything (WHY buy a truck and not actually USE it as a truck??..a bitch for later) you’re pretty fast. Makes you feel pretty good I imagine knowing you have that kind of power. Guess what?? I have a V8 too (Ford folks, it’s the same fucking engine) and I weigh a hell of a lot less than you do. What does that mean?? It means I can beat your truck HANDS DOWN. Just because I don’t floor it around you doesn’t mean that I can’t, and you were right about your truck being the most bad ass thing around. Heads up, every now and then I do. BOY do you guys get pissed as I dust your ass!
8. Middle age guys driving vans; this one is for you. Yes, you can keep up with me, and if you push your van you can keep ahead of me. I understand your feeling like you need SOMETHING to prove you’re still a stud and here is the perfect situation. You can prove that your van ‘is TOO a kick ass car’, and your not getting that old, by keeping up and passing my Mustang. Heads up guys; at 90mph I still have 60mph left to go and if I drop the pedal, it still kicks into overdrive. Just because I do not want to be totally insane by driving faster than 90mph, does NOT mean that I can’t…however, it does mean that you can’t. I would love to be your mechanics as you are stressing the heck out of your engine, and you must have to put it in the shop all the time. I have actually seen some poor shmuck blow black and greasy grey smoke doing this one afternoon, and yeah I laughed my ass off at the guy and actually clapped my hands for him as I passed his now fucked up vehicle. Boy was his wife going to be pissed*grin*.
9. Gals, I really honestly do love the opposite sex. I think the vast majority of you are sexy and if I wasn’t married I would probably be a huge slut. I don’t know if it is me (I have been told I look pretty good), the Mustang, a combination of both, that driving fast makes you horny, or whatever; but please listen to me on this. Trying to play tag with me at 85mph is not something that is going to cause me to say “Man I HAVE to get that gals number” or whatever the hell it is you want. It IS going to eventually make me get off the highway, but not for the reasons you might want; I have had a number of you follow me off at the exit I just swerved onto at the last second (Sometimes the phrase ‘Dear Penthouse’ goes through my mind *lol*). I am not getting off the highway to hook up. The reason is because deep in my heart I honestly want to get the fuck AWAY from you. My car is more valuable to me than any part of the body you are offering me. Sorry..
Ok, so this post was rather long and I apologize for it, but I hope you actually read it through. Anyways, I’m headed out to gas up the V8 and boldly go where no sane man has ever wanted to be..the highway.
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