Happy Fathers Day!!

I hope everyone had a great fathers day this weekend. I used to think that Fathers Day was just another made up holiday by the card manufacturers (thank you Hallmark). I threw in Mothers Day, Sweetest Day, hell any holiday that has to end with a Day at the end. However, things changed. I found out that on Mothers Day I better damn well be buying a card for my wife from pretty much anyone who even is remotely in our family, call my mother, call her in laws, etc. Let's not forget the flowers and gifts..that's right I said gifts. Why in hell I have to spend at least half as much I spend on her birthday for gifts is beyond me, but trust me if I don't then I end up sleeping in the doghouse for the rest of the month. So I figure fuck it, if I have to shout the praises of motherhood from the top of my lungs for our family then I am sure as hell getting a Fathers Day.

So here we are at the famous day. I had planned on spending it at home, doing something I don't get that much of a chance to do anymore...absolutely nothing. Nil, nada, zip, none, nothing, etc. I just wanted to sleep in as long as I could, get up drink some beers, watch the race and just be mellow. Course fate and me have this love/hate thing going on..



The day starts out pretty good, I get to sleep til 9:00 which is pretty late in our house. The kids brought me breakfast in bed; dry toast and pop. I find it somewhat ironic that you can never get this when you have a hangover and desperately need it, only when it's supposed to be a treat, but hey they tried. I get some socks and undershirts from them and it is looking like just another Fathers day. Strange my wife doesn't have a gift for me, but *grin* maybe I am going to get it later from her *bigger grin*.



I get up a little while later and after about 2 hours of hearing my wife yell at the kids to clean their rooms (ongoing battle), I figure there is absolutely no way in hell I am going to get some quiet at home so I decide that Dad would like to go to Spags (a local sports restaurant) to grab some lunch and watch the race there. This place always has the race on, and is usually empty on Sundays. So off we go and here is where fate decides to fuck with my day...



We get to Spags and sure enough there are only two other cars in the lot and we still have 1/2 hour before the race starts. I walk in the door with the 'Ahhh..life is good' mood only to find that every TV in the place is on the US Open, the two cars were full of old folks and by damn if they are going to let anyone change the TV channels! Ok, so I don't get to watch the race on the big screens, but WTF I can still get some beer and watch it on the small screen in the corner they graciously allow me to change (out of their line of sight and still they bitched..ahh).



Ok, so they are out of my beer on tap, lets just go with the standards, no big deal...



Ok so what if they place fills out with families full of little screaming, whining, crying kids I couldn't really hear it anyways...



Ok, so what if they screaming kids decide they have to continually come around our table..well not really ok as I am starting to get a little pissed...Parents do you see my children spilling pop on your table?



Look I am sure you don't want to disturb your guests sir, but could you PLEASE talk on your cell phone a little more than 2 feet off my shoulders (pet peeve), and can you NOT light up a cigerette as we eat...it's the fucking NO SMOKING section moron.



Yeah, we are out of quarters Ian and Emily and you will have to sit at the table and try to be quiet Daddy would really like to watch this race...



YEAH I know the fucking race still has 70 laps left to go, get another damn beer dear...

OK, fuck it lets leave. I can't concentrate on the race and you look pissed dear and the kids are going up a wall and there are 40 laps left. NO I don't want to stay and you are NOT doing this for me anymore as I am NOT enjoying this. What do you mean we are going to stay until the end, I thought this was supposed to be my choice..


The race is finally over!! Let's get the fuck out of dodge..what Ice Cream?? Didn't we just leave the restaurant and couldn't we have ordered it there so they kids could have had something to keep them happy for the 1/2 hour?!?!? I'm being a jerk huh and the kids deserve this for putting up with me on Fathers day?!?!?!?



We get to the ice cream parlor, and they kids get their shakes, the wife starts to loose the frosty mood, and I am thinking maybe the day can be turned around. Ahh fate...forgot about her. I am getting into the car (my wife is driving this last week because my knee is still in pain from the surgery) and just as the door swings past my head it comes back HARD AND FAST and the edge hits me in the face hard enough to stun me for a minute. I rule out tripping into the door as I was still on my feet and the door was less than 6 inches away. No way I could have hit it that hard if I tripped. I didn't pull it back into me...so only one of two things could have happened for me to get hit that hard with the door; either I was shoved hard into it (no one is around me so that is out) or my wife dropped the car into gear and didn't have her foot firmly on the brake. She is in the driver seat, the car is on and I am pretty damn sure I hear her put it back into park as she is asking me if everything is ok, but hell my head is ringing and I can't focus so who knows. So I say 'NO, I am not alright I hurt, and I am bleeding. What they hell happened??' And she says to me ...'I didn't put the car into gear!! It wasn't even running!' Hmm...that's your story and your sticking to it eh?





Guess I got my gift from her after all.