I am sitting in the office today, trying to get some work done for one of our customers. Boring, repetitive work, and I am having a hard time keeping going. In essence, a customer wants to know when a certain event happened in their domain. An event that they swore up and down to me didn’t ever happen, but as I showed them on their DC’s, DID happen. They are freaked about this, and although it IS bizarre, there is no need for them to spaz out like this. In order for them to have me track it down, they have sent me the event logs from their servers. ALL the event logs, from ALL of their servers. From January 1st of this year. The ones they have been saving weekly. *sigh*
Needless piece of information: There are no programs out there that will allow you to import multiple .evt files at once..or join multiple .evt files. Well that is unless your actually on one of the servers in that domain..which I am not..obviously.
So my day is sucking eggs big time, and I get an email from one of the corporate lead engineer guys. He says there is a customer that wants to upgrade to OES2 and have I done one before? Immediately I feel the anger building, which I will talk about later. I tell him that OES2 JUST went into beta2 and isn’t available yet. I get our local (well only one in the state) Novell rep (nice gal and an acquaintance) on the phone just to verify and she says that THEY don’t even have a ship date listed yet. Shortly later I get another engineer that was copied on the email, replying back that OES2 isn’t anything more then Netware 6.5 with a new SP or SUSE with SP2. WRONG!!! Which leads me to why I was starting to see red (no pun intended).
Novell in their infinite wisdom has decided to pretty much fuck up every Netware engineer’s lives. Why? Because some Microsoft hating bastard decided that the exact opposite of Windows is LINUX. AND that same bastards influence is running rampart around their company. So, to show just how different and better they are against the evil empire of Microsoft they are going to ship OES2 WITHOUT THE FUCKING NETWARE KERNEL!! Sure, you can run Netware as a virtual on OES2. They are saying it will make the Netware guys feel better by allowing them to have an environment that won’t seem as drastic. Of course if you need to do anything else on the server, like say…oh fixing it, or upgrading it, or just about everything fucking else, your going to need to learn SUSE. Oh, and just to make sure that your going to have to learn it, they are going to discontinue support on 6.5 in 2010 (only a few years earlier than normal for them on their products).
Do I know SUSE? No.
Do I want to learn SUSE? Fucking no!!
Am I going to have to pick up yet another NOS/Language? You bet your sweet bippy.
Am I the only Netware engineer pissed at this? Well..only about 100% of my customers hate this.
Did I mention my position in our company? I am our lead engineer on GroupWise and Zenworks for one. I am also one of two lead engineers in eDir. I also am one of our lead engineers in AD, Exchange, and ISA. So, can you guess what my job is? That’s right boys and girls, I am our head migration engineer. 80% of my work is done on migration projects. As in Company X wants to migrate from Netware to AD, or GroupWise to Exchange. I have absolutely no preference in their products. Each has it’s benefits and weaknesses and I see them both on every project, every day. However, I started out on the red team and have always felt I leaned more towards them. That was until lately.
Oh Bill..? Can I take the blue pill, so the story will end, and I can wake in my bed and I can believe whatever I want to believe?? Please???
Thursday, June 28, 2007
Thursday, June 21, 2007
Damnit Jim, we don't need another hero - or- Beam me up Master Blaster
It was kind of nice that my company had me on a project that was in town this winter. I really didn’t like the company I was doing the work for, but the fact that it was five miles from my house and I didn’t have to drive my Mustang in the winter made up for it. My part in the project was finally done at the end of April and I started back doing my regular consulting work. That means that I am usually not at one site more than a day or so, unless I have been sent out of town. My company has sent me to the four corners of the continent (almost literally), and although I miss being away from the family and bitch about not having down time in between, all in all traveling isn’t too bad. If I’m actually in town, then it means that I do what project management assigns me. Usually I will travel to multiple companies in one day. PM is not the best at figuring out geography though, which is a real headache. What do I mean by that?;
I am based out of the Lansing office along with 4 other LAN/WAN engineers, and a crap load of Cisco guys. We also have offices in Grand Rapids and in Auburn Hills (the old company headquarters). Each office has its own staff of engineers, but the Auburn Hills office has our largest number of them in Michigan (around 30 of them). I am pretty sure the idea behind the satellite offices is to have engineers available near the customer sites, so the customers can get fast response and won’t have to pay travel time. For the sake of folks not living in Michigan let me explain that both offices are 1 ½ hours away from Lansing if your driving during normal commute hours.
Ok, so let's say that resource management gets a call from the Lansing area for a company needing an engineer. They check their schedules and find that all the Lansing engineers are at another company. Instead of actually getting an idea from the company that called what kind of rush the project is, they pull a free engineer from the Auburn Hills office and send them to Lansing. They next get a call from a Detroit business and instead of using a free Auburn Hills engineer (oh Auburn Hills is a suburb of Detroit), they will wait and pull an engineer from the Lansing office once one becomes available. I THINK the reasoning they are doing it that way is that they don’t want to exhaust all the engineers in one office. Of course that doesn’t explain the fact that they have just booked the only available engineer in Lansing, giving us no free engineers yet again, and leaving the Auburn Hills still with free guys. To top it off, they now consider the Lansing guy a Detroit resource (he’s in the area right..?) so they continue to assign him Detroit calls. What that boils down to is that during the summer time I end up spending a hell of a lot of my time in Detroit, or should I say on the road to Detroit.
The commute time to Detroit in the morning/afternoons jumps from over one hour, to close to three hours. Traffic comes to a complete stop around 20 miles from the city daily from 6:30am to 9:00am, and visa versa from 4:00pm until 6:00pm. It’s a typical traffic jam; a lot of sitting around, waves of actually moving, and idiots who have to change lanes every minute because they think they are going to get there faster. It happens all around the country, so no big deal right? Then again...
Michigan is one of the few states where the speed limit on the highways is 70mph. What that translates to is a medium speed of 80 to 85mph normally. In the mornings and afternoons coming out of/or going into traffic jams from Detroit things change. The medium speed during those times can push over 90mph. I understand it; you get fed up with sitting still, or worry about getting to work on time and you feel you need to speed up to make up time (what did our drivers ED teachers say??). If you can imagine four lanes of ALMOST bumper to bumper traffic going at 90mph then you get an idea of how hairy it can get some afternoons. I can’t count the number of times I have thought to myself how amazingly lucky I just was after I have gotten away from the traffic like that (usually around the midpoint). I will stop for a pop around then, try to relax for a second and then continue home. I understand that if I don’t stop, then I can easily get out of control. But some folks just don’t understand this. You see, I can deal with the traffic jams, and the light-speed packs, but I have a real problem with the next set of folks; the ones still pumped from the high speed packs, the ones still thinking they are late to ??, and who now find themselves on a two land highway instead of four. What ends up next is where the push comes to shove and the real road rage starts.
There have always been a few things I have wanted to tell people driving during this time, and I figure venting them here is relatively safe, and who knows maybe someone will actually read this and act upon it??
1. If I pass you, or attempt to (see below), then I am NOT insulting you. I am not saying I am better than you, hell 99.99% of the time I don’t even pay attention to who is driving the car. It isn’t personal, it’s just I would like to maintain the speed I am driving.
2. Please do NOT spend your entire drive time in the left hand lane. It is for PASSING folks and then getting over. If you were paying attention as I approached you or you actually let me pass you, you will see that I get out of that lane when I am not passing. I am not trying to be the fastest; there are at least 5 other cars I see on a daily basis during the commute that are traveling waaaay faster than me. They have their speeds, I have mine, and you have yours.
3. I have two pet names for my car, and the first is My Bird of Prey. Why, you ask? Because folks seem to believe that I am equipped with a cloaking device and uncloak my car when I get behind them. I get EXTREMELY tired of people doing 75mph until I get up to pass them and them speeding up to go faster than me. Please do not give me the look of ‘But I was always doing 85mph!!!’. You weren’t or I wouldn’t have been able to actually get up to you.
4. Which leads me to my second pet name for my car; Sheepdog. I can keep 4 or 5 of the sort of folks listed above in front of me for miles on end, no matter what speed I go. I have been known to bark and howl uncontrollably at them. I also like to test their limits; say dropping to 65mph and then hitting the gas pedal hard once or twice (I LOVE to hear their engines sound like they are about to explode as they get surprised) or stressing their engines by making them max out I as take it up to 95mph. I figure if you’re going to do what you are doing for no other reason then to piss me off I might as well get revenge my way.
5. IF there are semis in the right hand lane separated by more than a few hundred feet; please, please GET OVER and let people pass you. Nothing makes my blood boil more, than a line of 20 cars refusing to get over led by some grandma doing 65mph. I can’t get around them, as EVERY person in that line will not let me get ahead of them, ‘how dare I try!!’. Oh, and when you get clear of that situation, please see rule one. You’re not going to keep going 85mph more than one or two miles, so please play nicely.
6. Assured clear distance is a wonderful thing. I actually do care if I make it home alive and I definitely understand that SHIT HAPPENS on the highway. It is NOT a spot you can squeeze your car into. That is how traffic jams happens as I now have to slam my brakes and try not to kill you. If you see that happen to me, please do not get the idea in your head that I am going slow and am the perfect person for you to do the exact same thing as soon as I get some space back again.
7. Pickup truck owners listen up, this one is just for you. Yeah, your pickup probably has a V8 and without you hauling anything (WHY buy a truck and not actually USE it as a truck??..a bitch for later) you’re pretty fast. Makes you feel pretty good I imagine knowing you have that kind of power. Guess what?? I have a V8 too (Ford folks, it’s the same fucking engine) and I weigh a hell of a lot less than you do. What does that mean?? It means I can beat your truck HANDS DOWN. Just because I don’t floor it around you doesn’t mean that I can’t, and you were right about your truck being the most bad ass thing around. Heads up, every now and then I do. BOY do you guys get pissed as I dust your ass!
8. Middle age guys driving vans; this one is for you. Yes, you can keep up with me, and if you push your van you can keep ahead of me. I understand your feeling like you need SOMETHING to prove you’re still a stud and here is the perfect situation. You can prove that your van ‘is TOO a kick ass car’, and your not getting that old, by keeping up and passing my Mustang. Heads up guys; at 90mph I still have 60mph left to go and if I drop the pedal, it still kicks into overdrive. Just because I do not want to be totally insane by driving faster than 90mph, does NOT mean that I can’t…however, it does mean that you can’t. I would love to be your mechanics as you are stressing the heck out of your engine, and you must have to put it in the shop all the time. I have actually seen some poor shmuck blow black and greasy grey smoke doing this one afternoon, and yeah I laughed my ass off at the guy and actually clapped my hands for him as I passed his now fucked up vehicle. Boy was his wife going to be pissed*grin*.
9. Gals, I really honestly do love the opposite sex. I think the vast majority of you are sexy and if I wasn’t married I would probably be a huge slut. I don’t know if it is me (I have been told I look pretty good), the Mustang, a combination of both, that driving fast makes you horny, or whatever; but please listen to me on this. Trying to play tag with me at 85mph is not something that is going to cause me to say “Man I HAVE to get that gals number” or whatever the hell it is you want. It IS going to eventually make me get off the highway, but not for the reasons you might want; I have had a number of you follow me off at the exit I just swerved onto at the last second (Sometimes the phrase ‘Dear Penthouse’ goes through my mind *lol*). I am not getting off the highway to hook up. The reason is because deep in my heart I honestly want to get the fuck AWAY from you. My car is more valuable to me than any part of the body you are offering me. Sorry..
Ok, so this post was rather long and I apologize for it, but I hope you actually read it through. Anyways, I’m headed out to gas up the V8 and boldly go where no sane man has ever wanted to be..the highway.
I am based out of the Lansing office along with 4 other LAN/WAN engineers, and a crap load of Cisco guys. We also have offices in Grand Rapids and in Auburn Hills (the old company headquarters). Each office has its own staff of engineers, but the Auburn Hills office has our largest number of them in Michigan (around 30 of them). I am pretty sure the idea behind the satellite offices is to have engineers available near the customer sites, so the customers can get fast response and won’t have to pay travel time. For the sake of folks not living in Michigan let me explain that both offices are 1 ½ hours away from Lansing if your driving during normal commute hours.
Ok, so let's say that resource management gets a call from the Lansing area for a company needing an engineer. They check their schedules and find that all the Lansing engineers are at another company. Instead of actually getting an idea from the company that called what kind of rush the project is, they pull a free engineer from the Auburn Hills office and send them to Lansing. They next get a call from a Detroit business and instead of using a free Auburn Hills engineer (oh Auburn Hills is a suburb of Detroit), they will wait and pull an engineer from the Lansing office once one becomes available. I THINK the reasoning they are doing it that way is that they don’t want to exhaust all the engineers in one office. Of course that doesn’t explain the fact that they have just booked the only available engineer in Lansing, giving us no free engineers yet again, and leaving the Auburn Hills still with free guys. To top it off, they now consider the Lansing guy a Detroit resource (he’s in the area right..?) so they continue to assign him Detroit calls. What that boils down to is that during the summer time I end up spending a hell of a lot of my time in Detroit, or should I say on the road to Detroit.
The commute time to Detroit in the morning/afternoons jumps from over one hour, to close to three hours. Traffic comes to a complete stop around 20 miles from the city daily from 6:30am to 9:00am, and visa versa from 4:00pm until 6:00pm. It’s a typical traffic jam; a lot of sitting around, waves of actually moving, and idiots who have to change lanes every minute because they think they are going to get there faster. It happens all around the country, so no big deal right? Then again...
Michigan is one of the few states where the speed limit on the highways is 70mph. What that translates to is a medium speed of 80 to 85mph normally. In the mornings and afternoons coming out of/or going into traffic jams from Detroit things change. The medium speed during those times can push over 90mph. I understand it; you get fed up with sitting still, or worry about getting to work on time and you feel you need to speed up to make up time (what did our drivers ED teachers say??). If you can imagine four lanes of ALMOST bumper to bumper traffic going at 90mph then you get an idea of how hairy it can get some afternoons. I can’t count the number of times I have thought to myself how amazingly lucky I just was after I have gotten away from the traffic like that (usually around the midpoint). I will stop for a pop around then, try to relax for a second and then continue home. I understand that if I don’t stop, then I can easily get out of control. But some folks just don’t understand this. You see, I can deal with the traffic jams, and the light-speed packs, but I have a real problem with the next set of folks; the ones still pumped from the high speed packs, the ones still thinking they are late to ??, and who now find themselves on a two land highway instead of four. What ends up next is where the push comes to shove and the real road rage starts.
There have always been a few things I have wanted to tell people driving during this time, and I figure venting them here is relatively safe, and who knows maybe someone will actually read this and act upon it??
1. If I pass you, or attempt to (see below), then I am NOT insulting you. I am not saying I am better than you, hell 99.99% of the time I don’t even pay attention to who is driving the car. It isn’t personal, it’s just I would like to maintain the speed I am driving.
2. Please do NOT spend your entire drive time in the left hand lane. It is for PASSING folks and then getting over. If you were paying attention as I approached you or you actually let me pass you, you will see that I get out of that lane when I am not passing. I am not trying to be the fastest; there are at least 5 other cars I see on a daily basis during the commute that are traveling waaaay faster than me. They have their speeds, I have mine, and you have yours.
3. I have two pet names for my car, and the first is My Bird of Prey. Why, you ask? Because folks seem to believe that I am equipped with a cloaking device and uncloak my car when I get behind them. I get EXTREMELY tired of people doing 75mph until I get up to pass them and them speeding up to go faster than me. Please do not give me the look of ‘But I was always doing 85mph!!!’. You weren’t or I wouldn’t have been able to actually get up to you.
4. Which leads me to my second pet name for my car; Sheepdog. I can keep 4 or 5 of the sort of folks listed above in front of me for miles on end, no matter what speed I go. I have been known to bark and howl uncontrollably at them. I also like to test their limits; say dropping to 65mph and then hitting the gas pedal hard once or twice (I LOVE to hear their engines sound like they are about to explode as they get surprised) or stressing their engines by making them max out I as take it up to 95mph. I figure if you’re going to do what you are doing for no other reason then to piss me off I might as well get revenge my way.
5. IF there are semis in the right hand lane separated by more than a few hundred feet; please, please GET OVER and let people pass you. Nothing makes my blood boil more, than a line of 20 cars refusing to get over led by some grandma doing 65mph. I can’t get around them, as EVERY person in that line will not let me get ahead of them, ‘how dare I try!!’. Oh, and when you get clear of that situation, please see rule one. You’re not going to keep going 85mph more than one or two miles, so please play nicely.
6. Assured clear distance is a wonderful thing. I actually do care if I make it home alive and I definitely understand that SHIT HAPPENS on the highway. It is NOT a spot you can squeeze your car into. That is how traffic jams happens as I now have to slam my brakes and try not to kill you. If you see that happen to me, please do not get the idea in your head that I am going slow and am the perfect person for you to do the exact same thing as soon as I get some space back again.
7. Pickup truck owners listen up, this one is just for you. Yeah, your pickup probably has a V8 and without you hauling anything (WHY buy a truck and not actually USE it as a truck??..a bitch for later) you’re pretty fast. Makes you feel pretty good I imagine knowing you have that kind of power. Guess what?? I have a V8 too (Ford folks, it’s the same fucking engine) and I weigh a hell of a lot less than you do. What does that mean?? It means I can beat your truck HANDS DOWN. Just because I don’t floor it around you doesn’t mean that I can’t, and you were right about your truck being the most bad ass thing around. Heads up, every now and then I do. BOY do you guys get pissed as I dust your ass!
8. Middle age guys driving vans; this one is for you. Yes, you can keep up with me, and if you push your van you can keep ahead of me. I understand your feeling like you need SOMETHING to prove you’re still a stud and here is the perfect situation. You can prove that your van ‘is TOO a kick ass car’, and your not getting that old, by keeping up and passing my Mustang. Heads up guys; at 90mph I still have 60mph left to go and if I drop the pedal, it still kicks into overdrive. Just because I do not want to be totally insane by driving faster than 90mph, does NOT mean that I can’t…however, it does mean that you can’t. I would love to be your mechanics as you are stressing the heck out of your engine, and you must have to put it in the shop all the time. I have actually seen some poor shmuck blow black and greasy grey smoke doing this one afternoon, and yeah I laughed my ass off at the guy and actually clapped my hands for him as I passed his now fucked up vehicle. Boy was his wife going to be pissed*grin*.
9. Gals, I really honestly do love the opposite sex. I think the vast majority of you are sexy and if I wasn’t married I would probably be a huge slut. I don’t know if it is me (I have been told I look pretty good), the Mustang, a combination of both, that driving fast makes you horny, or whatever; but please listen to me on this. Trying to play tag with me at 85mph is not something that is going to cause me to say “Man I HAVE to get that gals number” or whatever the hell it is you want. It IS going to eventually make me get off the highway, but not for the reasons you might want; I have had a number of you follow me off at the exit I just swerved onto at the last second (Sometimes the phrase ‘Dear Penthouse’ goes through my mind *lol*). I am not getting off the highway to hook up. The reason is because deep in my heart I honestly want to get the fuck AWAY from you. My car is more valuable to me than any part of the body you are offering me. Sorry..
Ok, so this post was rather long and I apologize for it, but I hope you actually read it through. Anyways, I’m headed out to gas up the V8 and boldly go where no sane man has ever wanted to be..the highway.
Monday, June 18, 2007
Happy Fathers Day!!
I hope everyone had a great fathers day this weekend. I used to think that Fathers Day was just another made up holiday by the card manufacturers (thank you Hallmark). I threw in Mothers Day, Sweetest Day, hell any holiday that has to end with a Day at the end. However, things changed. I found out that on Mothers Day I better damn well be buying a card for my wife from pretty much anyone who even is remotely in our family, call my mother, call her in laws, etc. Let's not forget the flowers and gifts..that's right I said gifts. Why in hell I have to spend at least half as much I spend on her birthday for gifts is beyond me, but trust me if I don't then I end up sleeping in the doghouse for the rest of the month. So I figure fuck it, if I have to shout the praises of motherhood from the top of my lungs for our family then I am sure as hell getting a Fathers Day.
So here we are at the famous day. I had planned on spending it at home, doing something I don't get that much of a chance to do anymore...absolutely nothing. Nil, nada, zip, none, nothing, etc. I just wanted to sleep in as long as I could, get up drink some beers, watch the race and just be mellow. Course fate and me have this love/hate thing going on..
The day starts out pretty good, I get to sleep til 9:00 which is pretty late in our house. The kids brought me breakfast in bed; dry toast and pop. I find it somewhat ironic that you can never get this when you have a hangover and desperately need it, only when it's supposed to be a treat, but hey they tried. I get some socks and undershirts from them and it is looking like just another Fathers day. Strange my wife doesn't have a gift for me, but *grin* maybe I am going to get it later from her *bigger grin*.
I get up a little while later and after about 2 hours of hearing my wife yell at the kids to clean their rooms (ongoing battle), I figure there is absolutely no way in hell I am going to get some quiet at home so I decide that Dad would like to go to Spags (a local sports restaurant) to grab some lunch and watch the race there. This place always has the race on, and is usually empty on Sundays. So off we go and here is where fate decides to fuck with my day...
We get to Spags and sure enough there are only two other cars in the lot and we still have 1/2 hour before the race starts. I walk in the door with the 'Ahhh..life is good' mood only to find that every TV in the place is on the US Open, the two cars were full of old folks and by damn if they are going to let anyone change the TV channels! Ok, so I don't get to watch the race on the big screens, but WTF I can still get some beer and watch it on the small screen in the corner they graciously allow me to change (out of their line of sight and still they bitched..ahh).
Ok, so they are out of my beer on tap, lets just go with the standards, no big deal...
Ok so what if they place fills out with families full of little screaming, whining, crying kids I couldn't really hear it anyways...
Ok, so what if they screaming kids decide they have to continually come around our table..well not really ok as I am starting to get a little pissed...Parents do you see my children spilling pop on your table?
Look I am sure you don't want to disturb your guests sir, but could you PLEASE talk on your cell phone a little more than 2 feet off my shoulders (pet peeve), and can you NOT light up a cigerette as we eat...it's the fucking NO SMOKING section moron.
Yeah, we are out of quarters Ian and Emily and you will have to sit at the table and try to be quiet Daddy would really like to watch this race...
YEAH I know the fucking race still has 70 laps left to go, get another damn beer dear...
OK, fuck it lets leave. I can't concentrate on the race and you look pissed dear and the kids are going up a wall and there are 40 laps left. NO I don't want to stay and you are NOT doing this for me anymore as I am NOT enjoying this. What do you mean we are going to stay until the end, I thought this was supposed to be my choice..
The race is finally over!! Let's get the fuck out of dodge..what Ice Cream?? Didn't we just leave the restaurant and couldn't we have ordered it there so they kids could have had something to keep them happy for the 1/2 hour?!?!? I'm being a jerk huh and the kids deserve this for putting up with me on Fathers day?!?!?!?
We get to the ice cream parlor, and they kids get their shakes, the wife starts to loose the frosty mood, and I am thinking maybe the day can be turned around. Ahh fate...forgot about her. I am getting into the car (my wife is driving this last week because my knee is still in pain from the surgery) and just as the door swings past my head it comes back HARD AND FAST and the edge hits me in the face hard enough to stun me for a minute. I rule out tripping into the door as I was still on my feet and the door was less than 6 inches away. No way I could have hit it that hard if I tripped. I didn't pull it back into me...so only one of two things could have happened for me to get hit that hard with the door; either I was shoved hard into it (no one is around me so that is out) or my wife dropped the car into gear and didn't have her foot firmly on the brake. She is in the driver seat, the car is on and I am pretty damn sure I hear her put it back into park as she is asking me if everything is ok, but hell my head is ringing and I can't focus so who knows. So I say 'NO, I am not alright I hurt, and I am bleeding. What they hell happened??' And she says to me ...'I didn't put the car into gear!! It wasn't even running!' Hmm...that's your story and your sticking to it eh?
Guess I got my gift from her after all.
So here we are at the famous day. I had planned on spending it at home, doing something I don't get that much of a chance to do anymore...absolutely nothing. Nil, nada, zip, none, nothing, etc. I just wanted to sleep in as long as I could, get up drink some beers, watch the race and just be mellow. Course fate and me have this love/hate thing going on..
The day starts out pretty good, I get to sleep til 9:00 which is pretty late in our house. The kids brought me breakfast in bed; dry toast and pop. I find it somewhat ironic that you can never get this when you have a hangover and desperately need it, only when it's supposed to be a treat, but hey they tried. I get some socks and undershirts from them and it is looking like just another Fathers day. Strange my wife doesn't have a gift for me, but *grin* maybe I am going to get it later from her *bigger grin*.
I get up a little while later and after about 2 hours of hearing my wife yell at the kids to clean their rooms (ongoing battle), I figure there is absolutely no way in hell I am going to get some quiet at home so I decide that Dad would like to go to Spags (a local sports restaurant) to grab some lunch and watch the race there. This place always has the race on, and is usually empty on Sundays. So off we go and here is where fate decides to fuck with my day...
We get to Spags and sure enough there are only two other cars in the lot and we still have 1/2 hour before the race starts. I walk in the door with the 'Ahhh..life is good' mood only to find that every TV in the place is on the US Open, the two cars were full of old folks and by damn if they are going to let anyone change the TV channels! Ok, so I don't get to watch the race on the big screens, but WTF I can still get some beer and watch it on the small screen in the corner they graciously allow me to change (out of their line of sight and still they bitched..ahh).
Ok, so they are out of my beer on tap, lets just go with the standards, no big deal...
Ok so what if they place fills out with families full of little screaming, whining, crying kids I couldn't really hear it anyways...
Ok, so what if they screaming kids decide they have to continually come around our table..well not really ok as I am starting to get a little pissed...Parents do you see my children spilling pop on your table?
Look I am sure you don't want to disturb your guests sir, but could you PLEASE talk on your cell phone a little more than 2 feet off my shoulders (pet peeve), and can you NOT light up a cigerette as we eat...it's the fucking NO SMOKING section moron.
Yeah, we are out of quarters Ian and Emily and you will have to sit at the table and try to be quiet Daddy would really like to watch this race...
YEAH I know the fucking race still has 70 laps left to go, get another damn beer dear...
OK, fuck it lets leave. I can't concentrate on the race and you look pissed dear and the kids are going up a wall and there are 40 laps left. NO I don't want to stay and you are NOT doing this for me anymore as I am NOT enjoying this. What do you mean we are going to stay until the end, I thought this was supposed to be my choice..
The race is finally over!! Let's get the fuck out of dodge..what Ice Cream?? Didn't we just leave the restaurant and couldn't we have ordered it there so they kids could have had something to keep them happy for the 1/2 hour?!?!? I'm being a jerk huh and the kids deserve this for putting up with me on Fathers day?!?!?!?
We get to the ice cream parlor, and they kids get their shakes, the wife starts to loose the frosty mood, and I am thinking maybe the day can be turned around. Ahh fate...forgot about her. I am getting into the car (my wife is driving this last week because my knee is still in pain from the surgery) and just as the door swings past my head it comes back HARD AND FAST and the edge hits me in the face hard enough to stun me for a minute. I rule out tripping into the door as I was still on my feet and the door was less than 6 inches away. No way I could have hit it that hard if I tripped. I didn't pull it back into me...so only one of two things could have happened for me to get hit that hard with the door; either I was shoved hard into it (no one is around me so that is out) or my wife dropped the car into gear and didn't have her foot firmly on the brake. She is in the driver seat, the car is on and I am pretty damn sure I hear her put it back into park as she is asking me if everything is ok, but hell my head is ringing and I can't focus so who knows. So I say 'NO, I am not alright I hurt, and I am bleeding. What they hell happened??' And she says to me ...'I didn't put the car into gear!! It wasn't even running!' Hmm...that's your story and your sticking to it eh?
Guess I got my gift from her after all.
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
Ok, I GET it..
Ever feel like a pit bull?
I distinctly remember my next door neighbor Tricia's boyfriend having a pit bull. Or more to the point I remember the afternoon I watched it tear apart one of their cats. What stands out the most is Tricia screaming at him to stop the dog from killing the cat and Marty (her boyfriend) beating this dog on the head FULL FORCE with a 16" steel pipe, blow after blow, again and again...course that didn't even phase that dog. It stopped when IT was done, and not before. Sat down and wagged his tail and barked at Marty like he just gave him a treat.
Ok, I have to admit this...I'm a geek. Have been, will always be, etc. Course I am not your regular geek, I am King of the geeks (come to one of my High School reunions and you'll understand). HOWEVER even though I am a geek and I work in the IS industry, AND I bullsh...er tell my clients things like "Of COURSE you can trust Exchange 2007. Yeah, I know it just came out yesterday..", I am a stick in the mud about some things. My wife tells me I am stubborn, but I know better. I'm just right and they are wrong *grin*. One thing I never got was blogs. Seemed like everyone I worked with or for had one, and said things like 'Check my blog out, I got some great pics of my car on it' or 'Dude, my blog got soo many hits on my schema question...stuff I NEVER knew about' (and if you understand that, please join me in a rousing chorus of the Lumberjack Song you geek). I would just smile at them, shake my head, chuckle a little and try to never let them see the 'WOW!!! And you WORK in IT?? I'm afraid I must KILL YOU!!!' thoughts in my mind (well..one or two caught on, but no body/no foul eh?). I figured I would get blogging when I got...well..clogging or flogging or monologuing. Then I get this email on motorcycles..
I will admit when I saw Bill had a blog my first instinct was to grab my steel and fly to Colorado (course the whole airport security thing had me stumped). Then I read his blog...really read it (it being short helped a hell of a lot..that and the tequila). What I saw/read wasn't about cars or phones or whatever, it was about reaching out to friends. Ones who live near and you see every day, and even ones who are asses and live across the continent and don't talk all that much (I promise to try better). Thanks Bill for letting me share some of your day..I miss you a hell of a lot.
Oh well, I guess it's time to say 'Bow Wow' and roll over...can I get a Scooby Snack now???
I distinctly remember my next door neighbor Tricia's boyfriend having a pit bull. Or more to the point I remember the afternoon I watched it tear apart one of their cats. What stands out the most is Tricia screaming at him to stop the dog from killing the cat and Marty (her boyfriend) beating this dog on the head FULL FORCE with a 16" steel pipe, blow after blow, again and again...course that didn't even phase that dog. It stopped when IT was done, and not before. Sat down and wagged his tail and barked at Marty like he just gave him a treat.
Ok, I have to admit this...I'm a geek. Have been, will always be, etc. Course I am not your regular geek, I am King of the geeks (come to one of my High School reunions and you'll understand). HOWEVER even though I am a geek and I work in the IS industry, AND I bullsh...er tell my clients things like "Of COURSE you can trust Exchange 2007. Yeah, I know it just came out yesterday..", I am a stick in the mud about some things. My wife tells me I am stubborn, but I know better. I'm just right and they are wrong *grin*. One thing I never got was blogs. Seemed like everyone I worked with or for had one, and said things like 'Check my blog out, I got some great pics of my car on it' or 'Dude, my blog got soo many hits on my schema question...stuff I NEVER knew about' (and if you understand that, please join me in a rousing chorus of the Lumberjack Song you geek). I would just smile at them, shake my head, chuckle a little and try to never let them see the 'WOW!!! And you WORK in IT?? I'm afraid I must KILL YOU!!!' thoughts in my mind (well..one or two caught on, but no body/no foul eh?). I figured I would get blogging when I got...well..clogging or flogging or monologuing. Then I get this email on motorcycles..
I will admit when I saw Bill had a blog my first instinct was to grab my steel and fly to Colorado (course the whole airport security thing had me stumped). Then I read his blog...really read it (it being short helped a hell of a lot..that and the tequila). What I saw/read wasn't about cars or phones or whatever, it was about reaching out to friends. Ones who live near and you see every day, and even ones who are asses and live across the continent and don't talk all that much (I promise to try better). Thanks Bill for letting me share some of your day..I miss you a hell of a lot.
Oh well, I guess it's time to say 'Bow Wow' and roll over...can I get a Scooby Snack now???
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